How to be a Mom
by KaitlinRoxUrSox
Summary: Its only been a few weeks since Ian was killed, and Declan is angry with Emily and having a hard time, and Emily is scared and doesn't know what to do.
1. Chapter 1

**a/n: here's a new submission for fic war...i need some ideas...idk how emotion provoking this is...but ya know...(: any ways...this is dedicated to fashionableraid (kelsey)...because of reasons. and because of paget. ok bye.**

"Declan," Emily said softly. He ignored her. Emily sighed and sat on the couch next to him. As she sat, he stood and walked into the kitchen.

"Dec," she called after him, standing up, and following him into the kitchen. She watched as he poured himself a glass of juice. He started to brush past her towards his room, but Emily grabbed his arm.

"This can't keep going on," Emily began, but Declan cut her off.

"Look, I don't want to be here as much as you don't want me here. So why don't you just layoff and I'll stay out of your way," he spat at her and stormed up the stairs.

"What?" Emily asked, shocked. She ran up the stairs after him. Just as she reached the door to his room, he slammed the door in her face. She heard the lock click, a second later.

"Fuck," she muttered. She turned to walk down the stairs, but after taking a few steps, she stopped.

'_You don't want to walk away and have him think you don't care. You need to let him know what you want. You need to find out what he wants. Don't be Emily Prentiss. Be 'mom'. Don't compartmentalize,' _she thought to herself. She walked to his door, and picked his lock with a bobby pin that she had in her hair.

"Get out!" Declan shouted.

"No! We're going to talk," Emily said firmly.

"Just get out! Go!" Declan cried out again.

"No I'm not going anywhere!" Emily responded.

"Why? You left last time!" Declan screamed.

"What?" Emily gasped.

"You left me and Dad last time and I hate you for it. And I know they took him because of you. And then you took him away from me last week. You KILLED MY DAD!" Declan screamed. He was sobbing.

"Declan, you have to understand, your dad was a bad man," Emily tried, but at this moment, words were really failing her.

"Maybe! But he wasn't to me! He took me to the park! He played hide and seek with me! He tucked me in at night!" Declan shouted, "And _you_, you just faked it! And then you shipped me off because you were done with us!" He yelled.

"I was just trying to protect you," Emily tried reasoning with the hysterical boy, but it was no use.

"I hate you! And," he began but paused as if he was contemplating whether he should say it or not, "And I wish it had been you instead of him that night." With that, he stormed off, down the stairs and out the front door.

Emily jumped when the front door slammed. She picked up her phone and dialed JJ.

_"Hello?" JJ asked._

"Jay, could you ask Will to go out and bring Declan home?" Emily asked calmly, "I'm sorry to make him go out but he just stormed off and he won't come home for me and I just don't want him to get hurt…" Emily's voice trailed away.

_"Yeah he's going out right now….Em, what happened?" JJ asked._

And then Emily cracked. All the emotion she had been holding in, all the pain and fear was released, "I don't know how to be a mom," she whispered, and then she dropped to the floor as she began to cry


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n: well look at this. I'm writing more because people said I should. This story is being Beta'd by the amazing and lovely: FashionableRaid. I LOVE HER. You should read her stories because they're AMAZING. Here we go! Read, Review & Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the characters… Blah blah blah. :)**

_"I'm coming over," JJ said firmly into the phone, after letting Emily cry for a good ten minutes._

"No, JJ, you don't have to-" said Emily, wiping her eyes.

_"No, it's fine, I am. Will just texted me and said he found Declan, wandering around on the next street. He's fine. He caught him just before it started to rain. They're on the way back here," JJ began._

"Oh thank god. I'll be over in a few minutes to grab him. Tell Will I said thank you," Emily said quickly, letting out the breath she had been holding.

_"How about I let him stay here for a little bit? He can play football or something with Will and Henry…it'll give him time to cool off," JJ suggested._

"Oh, Jay, you don't have to-" Emily began, but JJ cut her off.

_"Stop it, Em, its fine. If Declan wants to stay, he can stay. Will can get them pizza or something, and he can stay until he's ready to come home," JJ said gently._

"I don't know what I would do without you," Emily murmured into the phone, wiping her eyes. She stood slowly.

_"I'll be over in a couple minutes with peanut m&ms, red wine and parenting advice," JJ said._

"God, you're the best," Emily said with a small smile.

_"And don't you ever forget it," JJ teased. _

"Bye, Jayje," Emily said.

_"See you in a few," JJ said, and she hung up._

"Oh my god, what am I gonna do," Emily groaned. She walked into the kitchen and pulled a bottle of Advil from the top of the microwave. She popped two pills in her mouth and swallowed. Then she went to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

.oOo.

"Declan," Will said quietly, turning to the boy seated next to him on the passenger's side.

"Hmm?" Declan asked, looking straight forward, not daring to look Will in the eyes.

"Why'd you storm off again?" Will asked. "You know it worries Emily."

"I know. She says it does," He said, avoiding the first question. "Are you taking me back to her?"

"Not if you don't want to. You can stay at my house for a little while. You can hang out with me and Henry. We'll have a guy's night," Will said.

"Ok," Declan said with a shrug.

"So, why do you want her to worry?" Will questioned again.

"She says she worries, but I don't think she really cares. Why did she send you to find me? Why didn't she come out to find me?" Declan asked fiercely.

"Declan, she cares about you, more than you will ever know," Will told him, as they pulled into Will's driveway.

"That's a load of crap," Declan said, climbing out of the car.

"I don't know why you think that, but it's not crap. It's completely true," Will said, following him inside. He unlocked the door. JJ was putting a bottle of red wine into a bag.

"Hi Declan," JJ murmured softly.

"Hi," he mumbled.

"I'm going to see Emily. Do you want to come home or do you want to stay here for a while?" JJ asked.

"I'll stay," Declan grumbled.

"Ok," JJ agreed. "Can I talk to you for a minute, though, before I go?" JJ requested.

"You mean you're gonna talk, and I'm going to listen?" Declan asked, rolling his eyes.

"Kind of, yeah…" JJ said with a smirk. "Have a seat," JJ said, pointing to a bar stool. Will took this as his cue to go find Henry. He left the two alone in the kitchen.

"Emily loves you. Everything she did was to protect you," JJ said firmly.

"I don't think so, but whatever…" Declan said with a shrug.

"You wouldn't know," JJ said, shaking her head. "Every time she's tried to get close to you, you've run, or you've shut her out… you've ignored her. She's trying, but you need to make an effort too, Declan." With that, JJ got up. "I'll see you later, bud..." she said, squeezing his shoulder encouragingly, as she left.

"Bye, Will," She called.

"Bye, Cher," he said, carrying Henry into the room. JJ kissed Henry, then Will, and waved goodbye.

.oOo.

Emily climbed out of the shower. She wrapped a towel around herself and started towards her room to change.

"Em, I'm in the kitchen!" JJ called.

"That was fast," Emily laughed.

"I try," JJ teased. She poured two glasses of wine, and poured the m&ms into a bowl. She brought them into the living room, and then popped in a DVD of Grey's Anatomy. They loved drooling over Patrick Dempsey together.

"Hey," Emily said, walking into the living room.

"Hi, hon," JJ said with a soft smile. She pulled Emily for a gentle hug.

"How is he?" Emily asked, as she let go of JJ.

"He's… stubborn and frustrated," JJ said. "Typical Declan," she added with a laugh.

"God, I don't know how to do this, Jayje. I don't know how to be a parent. There's a reason I haven't had any kids yet!" Emily said, with a groan.

"Yeah, but that would be because you don't have enough sex," JJ said, taking a sip of her wine.

"Ugh, Jesus, Jen, that's the last thing I need to think about right now," Emily said rolling her eyes.

"Sex?" JJ asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, my lack of it," Emily said, sighing. "I just need to work things out with Declan before I can start dating, let alone be having sex."

"You just have to work out the kinks in your parenting methods. Believe me, it's taken Will and me, gee… probably Henry's whole life to work out most of the kinks and we still haven't gotten them all," JJ said.

"Yeah but I don't even have a method because he doesn't want me to be his parent," Emily said. She sighed, and began chugging her wine.

"Easy, there cowgirl. We'll run out, and you'll throw up if you don't slow it down," JJ said, easing the glass away from Emily's mouth.

"What am I supposed to do, Jayje? Give him up for adoption? Have him live with foster parents? Put him in that fucked up system?" Emily said, pinching the bridge of her nose at the thought.

"See, that's what Declan needs to realize. He's only twelve, so he doesn't see it, but you take care of stuff like that. It's the little things that he wouldn't understand, that show you care. I talked to him before I left," JJ said.

"And what did you tell him?" Emily asked, putting her wine on the table. JJ put hers down to.

"That you were trying. And the only way this was going to work was if he tried too," JJ said softly.

Emily couldn't help but laugh, "And what did he say to that?" she asked incredulously.

"He just rolled his eyes," JJ said sighing, laughing as well.

"I guess I just have to try harder," Emily said with a shrug. She snuggled up into JJ's arms as they got comfy on the couch.

"Let's watch some McDreamy," Emily said with a grin.

"Sounds good," JJ agreed, and flipped on the TV. Emily was determined to fix things with Declan… she just had to figure out how.


End file.
